Kelliann DeCarlo

A Feminine Feminist

Kelliann DeCarlo

FEMINIST: adjective Sometimes fem·i·nis·tic.

advocating social, political, legal, and economic rights for women equal to those of men.

noun: an advocate of such rights. (Source)


For generations, traditional Western societies have defined feminine energy as synonymous with submissive energy. There is this idea that feminine energy is less strong, less influential, and less powerful and more soft, more nurturing, more allowing. This idea translates to another idea: that having feminine energy will not help you achieve your goals or make your stand out in the workplace or make people listen to you.

Living among that definition presses women today to believe that in order to support the gender equality movement, we must feel encouraged to suppress those energies in an effort to appear stronger. It also presses women to believe that doing so will help us to become powerful and influential and strong enough to achieve whatever we want in this life. This adjustment, this alteration is completely contradictory to the idea of feminism.

In my opinion, it misses the point entirely.

Feminism is not about procreating a specific kind of “woman of the future” who stifles part of who she organically is in order to get what she wants, the kind who dresses a certain way to be taken seriously or purposely doesn’t discuss her children at work. Feminism isn’t about only buying predominantly black or grey clothing for the office because choosing a softer color that compliments you better would mean you aren’t taken seriously in a meeting.

It’s simply not a part of the equation.

It’s about equality, human being to human being. There is no aesthetic interpretation. That being said, a woman who embraces her femininity couldn’t possibly be harmful to feminists because one has nothing to do with the other. It’s about thinking of ourselves as human beings equality, judging and forming opinions of each other based on the content, not the cover.

It is not about suppressing men. In fact that, too, is a blatant contradiction of feminism. It is about every man standing up for the idea that all kinds of women are equal to all kinds of men. It is about meeting at matching levels, socially, politically, and economically. It is about demanding respect from one another and being mindful of the things that are said and the assumptions that are made.

Your goals matter. The way you react to setbacks and struggles matter. Your work ethic matters. Your ability to care for others matters. Your rights matter. Your heart matters.

Wear pink, or don’t. It has nothing to do with it.